The day is approaching and some people have been getting ready as early as October. Decoration’s hit the shops and Christmas music is being played everywhere you go.
People are being bombarded by television adverts with things to buy, and children are doing their Christmas lists. Parents not wanting to disappoint their loved ones…they just want to see their children’s faces light up with delight.
There is such a buzz at Christmas time and the air is full of Christmas cheer and good will to all. It’s like the earth has been taken over by false happiness, for example people who never really speak from one year until the next wish you a ‘Happy Christmas’, I mean what is that about, do you know what I mean? When I have asked people what they think of Christmas some people say excitement and say they love the hype and adrenaline that it brings and the memories of childhood. Others refer to Christmas as the party season, getting dressed up and getting merry or drunk in some if not all cases, but most people would again go back to when they were a child and their experiences of growing up at Christmas time.
When I think back to my childhood I can remember the different smells in the air; you sort of know that Christmas is here, was it the smell of the Christmas trees or the baking of Christmas puds, I don’t know but everybody would be rushing round excited. I was dragged round the shops and saw toys being bought and my mum would say they were for the orphan’s; they didn’t have a mum or dad. I didn’t understand what an orphan was, well I was only five and to me I wished I was an orphan because I wanted some of those toys! I felt they were very lucky to get all those toys. I didn’t understand that a man was born for us and that we had to all celebrate his birth. Who was this very special person? As a five year old you’re told in many ways about Christmas and why it is here but it was very confusing to me because all I saw was shops everywhere filled with lovely toys. Well eventually the day arrives and all mothers and fathers across the land are cooking and presents being opened like it happens every year.
But for some Christmas holds some bad as well as good memories, for me the night before is stored tightly in my head…Hearing the loud music, the laughing, singing, screaming, swearing and crying, the banging and slamming of doors. Peeping through the passage door and seeing my dad’s face so red and fit to burst, my uncle with blood over his face. I could feel a very uneasy atmosphere and I was scared. The door flings open and my brother and I were told very firmly to get to bed and stay there. We scampered off so quickly I think I left my heart in the passage-way because it was beating so hard, it felt like it had jumped out. I lay there in the dark going over the images in my head and asking why. Why did this man have to be born, why did those toys have to be given away, why was my mum crying and why was my dad so angry did he do that to my uncle? Five years old and waiting for Santa to come.
Christmas day was quiet but I got the toys I had seen in the trolley, I was totally confused, I thought I had wished so hard for them that it had come true. I felt a bit guilty about the orphans but the toys took my imagination away from them. As I got older most of the Christmas’s were the same it was the normal family festivities, laugh, cry, be sad but look to a New Year with hope that things could be different.
I’ve got two children of my own now and I vowed that I would never ever argue around Christmas and have always made Christmas a special time for them, but I don’t make it all about toys I make it about family and how lucky we are to have each other and that is more than a lot of children and adults have. I also let them buy something or give something of their own to other children that are less fortunate than themselves; they do a shoe box and we send them off. They are excited about the sheer thought off making another child happy.
I think sometimes people lose sight of what Christmas means. We buy all the necessities for that one day and then regret the expense of it all and the anti-climax hits hard. That one day can go from having you feel great to grieving by the end.
My message as a mum of two at Christmas time is that you should spend wisely – only what you can afford, your children will love you no matter what, explain that you love them and that these gifts are from the heart. They didn’t ask to be born and you’re lucky to have them; don’t spoil them because their love is unconditional as is yours.
Look forward because January is the beginning of a New Year, new hopes and surprises. Be careful what you wish for but enjoy the year ahead. No matter how hard it may feel you are not alone, there are others in the same boat that will understand.
Happy Christmas and New Year; good spirit to all.
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